“You’re About To Learn Secrets That Most Men Will Never Know About Women...”

No, you're not. But in the infinite and unexplainable wisdom of Gmail, such a link was presented to me right before I sat down to blog my party from tonight. Not my party, but the girls' party, which they threw a little bit because it's their birthdays but i suspect also because none of us have seen each other in forever. (can you tell i just checked up on one of my blogging heros? still working on my own style.)

before i forget, as a followup to kissing blog, check out (but come back):

http://www.blistex.com/Global_lips.htm

i am not drunk or even tipsy. i am tired and a little confused, disappointed, and pleased.

so the big question is not how to hit on women. that is A Big Question, but frankly I'm not necessarily so sure I want to be exceeding good at. I am sorry that I didn't chat up Jessica and Britney (yes, their real names; i don't know where Lindsay and Paris were).

does anyone else hear indian music? i went to India Cook House's web page in another window. Now when i select that window, no music. But blog window is rockin' naan. Maybe it will be magically embedded in the post.

the More Pressing Question (literally) is what to do when someone is working hard to get closer to you than; i can't think of what it is closer than. let's say there is an effort to make the contours of two bodies, the bends and valleys and twists, fit together like puzzle pieces. the dilemmas seem twofold.

1) what can i create in this situation, given the social toolbox that I am competent to employ.
2) what do i want to create in this situation, given that i am not someone who actually wants to seduce pretty women just because they are drunk. i mean, a pretty woman just because she is drunk. singular. haven't had to deal with the plural yet.

re 1) my toolbox is obviously not as limited as i think it is, if

who i accidentally talked to earlier but then had nothing to add (either pertinent or funny) to the smokers' conversation about mostly giving blowjobs from both the straight and gay perspectives comes up and stands way too close. i mean, too close to be an accident.

so here's what i want, i think. i know she (this she and all those in her situation) is probably not looking for a husband or a boyfriend or even a good fuck. so without being any of those things, i can still be a little receptive and playful and, i dont' know, sexy, but sexy in that enlightened way that we all want to get a little approval on who we are to the opposite sex and say (not in words), yes, girl, i approve, and i appreciate your approval. My instinct is that this is hard to convey without sending the "i'm seducing you" vibe, but fuck that former-self attitude, i dont' like where it has taken me.

i do like where this blog has taken me, but a sad thing is in the situation itself, i eventually blew it. at the time i let the awkward overtake me even though i know i could have come up with something to keep her interested and not be rude to the other people in the very strange conversation. she actually turned to me and said "well, this has gone well" before drifting off (although she did say it more happily than i have gotten in the past). poor dear was drunk as a skunk, but that had nothing to do with our interaction. i created all of it, good and bad. next time will be different.

anyway, hopefully my european parting kiss thing was at least a little gratifying. damn, girl, i appreciate your approval and yes, i approve.