old cousin

what do you tell your kid cousin as she grows up?

she's pretty and a girl, which of course disposes her to a different set of growing-up issues that I had. and it's 13 years later, which is also probably very different.

or maybe not. underneath i suspect it's all the same. unfortunately part of that is not giving a shit about the advice given to you as such. and i don't have much to say, i'm not so wise. i don't have much to say (as evidenced by typing that sentence twice in a row without realizing).

you have permission to screw up in anything less important than your long term life and health. you will get bad grades and hangovers and accidentally but selfishly hurt your friends' feelings probably wake up in a place or two that you didn't mean to sleep. the most important thing is to love yourself enough that you stay in school and have a designated driver and be able to love your friends through the hard times and for God's sakes, practice insisting on a condom sober or drunk, self-confident or needy. to see the difference between the minor and major is your challenge and as you accumulate minor screwups and minor victories and major victories it will get easier, never easy, that would reduce life to not being that interesting anymore.

and never cheat on a significant other. i still can't decide whether i'd rather have learned that lesson without actually doing it.